If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
