I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
