Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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