In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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