operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
a search helicopter?!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
