TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
