and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
