One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
