sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
