She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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