So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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