we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Terrible idea I love it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
