You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
