drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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