Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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