so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
