She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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