wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
