i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
