Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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