Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My feet surprised me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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