Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
