Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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