Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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