i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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