This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
