So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
