i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
