everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
