I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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