I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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