If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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