Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
