I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
