Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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