For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
