This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Buhtt sex?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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