so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
