I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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