we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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