I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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