I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
