It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
