smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
