This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
