I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
