two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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