Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
