i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
