JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
