meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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